I shake, but will not fall.

Oh God, we cry out for your mercy. Oh God, we cry out for your grace. Oh God we cry out, set us free.

[Jesus said] "Self-help is no help at all. Self sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and loose you .. ?"

Mark 8:35-36

I am weak. I am meagre. I have sinned, and I will sin. I am unworthy. I am broken. I've been blind, and I continue to peer eagerly through a haze. Lord show me the way. I'm trying to be open and honest with God, and with myself and the people in my life, and so i'll grant you the same courtesy. Sometimes I stumble on my path, sometimes I trip, but I get up, and I keep going in the same direction, and I think that's what's important. I will not let this light go out. I've been so ignorant, I keep praying for God to build on our relationship, and become the centre of attention in my life and then all of these distractions and temptations come knocking at my door, and feeling home alone I open it and invite them in. When really I should be recognizing that God's already there. He tests me over and over to see if i'm worthy of this relationship, and instead of standing my ground and focussing on God - MAKING him the centre of my attention, I fell for the bait.

Everyday isn't going to be extraordinary. There won't alway's be revelations, and worship music running through my head. Miracles won't be reassuring my every doubt. But God is God, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is extraordinary. The spirit runs through my soul. Faith is my comfort. He is so forgiving, and so powerful, and so mysterious. I want to be free in my love but I feel confined by judgment. I need to work on that, I need to be more honest and open and consistent and bright, no matter where i am, or who i'm with.

Oh God, I cry out for your mercy. Oh God, I cry out for your grace. Oh Lord I cry out, set me free.