Practice makes permanent.

My step father used to tell me that that old saying, "Practice makes perfect," is crap. He always taught me that practice made permanent, meaning if you practiced something wrong, then you would always do it wrong. Makes sense, right ?

So, recently i've began a new excursion and decided that i was going to add, "piano," to my list of exuberant credentials. The only problem is that instead of committing myself to it steadily, i'd rather rely on the hope that someday i'll just wake up with the ability to rock it. I'm being battered on a daily basis, "Have you practiced your piano today?" "You should really be practicing piano!" and all of this talk has got me thinking, what else should I be practicing?

I want to start making an effort to be a good a christian everyday. I want to seek the Lord in all I do. He should be on my mind at all times, behind every decision and beside every defeat. If I have to talk to God more, plunge myself deeper into the word, pray harder or reach out further than I'll do it. I think i'd like to start setting goals for myself, small things to accomplish on a daily or weekly basis. Things like sharing God with my friends who've never experienced his glory, forgiving those who have hurt me, helping those who would never ask or even just spending more time with the Father. I'm going to start telling myself to do these things so that eventually they will just come naturally. If practice makes permanent and everyone is striving for perfection, than i'm going to practice being like Jesus. I will shine with love.

I shake, but will not fall.

Oh God, we cry out for your mercy. Oh God, we cry out for your grace. Oh God we cry out, set us free.

[Jesus said] "Self-help is no help at all. Self sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and loose you .. ?"

Mark 8:35-36

I am weak. I am meagre. I have sinned, and I will sin. I am unworthy. I am broken. I've been blind, and I continue to peer eagerly through a haze. Lord show me the way. I'm trying to be open and honest with God, and with myself and the people in my life, and so i'll grant you the same courtesy. Sometimes I stumble on my path, sometimes I trip, but I get up, and I keep going in the same direction, and I think that's what's important. I will not let this light go out. I've been so ignorant, I keep praying for God to build on our relationship, and become the centre of attention in my life and then all of these distractions and temptations come knocking at my door, and feeling home alone I open it and invite them in. When really I should be recognizing that God's already there. He tests me over and over to see if i'm worthy of this relationship, and instead of standing my ground and focussing on God - MAKING him the centre of my attention, I fell for the bait.

Everyday isn't going to be extraordinary. There won't alway's be revelations, and worship music running through my head. Miracles won't be reassuring my every doubt. But God is God, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is extraordinary. The spirit runs through my soul. Faith is my comfort. He is so forgiving, and so powerful, and so mysterious. I want to be free in my love but I feel confined by judgment. I need to work on that, I need to be more honest and open and consistent and bright, no matter where i am, or who i'm with.

Oh God, I cry out for your mercy. Oh God, I cry out for your grace. Oh Lord I cry out, set me free.